


Crazy

by Littlebabyleaf



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Do you like pain? Read this, I'm so sorry I put my poor baby through this, M/M, Pidge is a savage, Psychological Trauma, Trauma, holy shit so much angst, torture refereces
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-03
Updated: 2016-08-03
Packaged: 2018-07-29 04:41:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7670509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Littlebabyleaf/pseuds/Littlebabyleaf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Lance is captured by the Galra and tortured, he begins to give up hope about ever seeing the other members of Voltron again.  However after being saved by Keith, he is forced to start to deal with the aftermath.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crazy

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry I did this to my poor baby Lance, I feel so bad for my idiot space son.

My eyes slowly opened, the world around me blurry, everything hurt. I couldn’t see much, but I knew exactly what I was laying in, it was cold now though, it was my own blood.  

_ Guess you were right Shiro, I should’ve brought Keith with me, he was always better at being a paladin than I was. _

I couldn’t remember when or how the Galra had captured me, something told me weeks but time always felt different in space, like, more stretchy. Had I known how long I was going to be in space when I left, I would’ve started counting the days at the beginning.  

There was a ride range of emotion going on inside of me, most of which were pain. However, a few of them also stuck out in my mind, anger was a pretty big one. 

I wasn’t really sure who I was angry at, I just knew I was angry. I was angry at myself for not being good enough and getting myself captured and always needing Keith around as a babysitter. I was angry at Keith for always being better than me no matter how hard I tried, and for always looking at  _ him _ . I was angry that I wanted him, my biggest rival, to look at me the same way he looked at Shiro. I was angry that Shiro had no idea about the way Keith looked at him, and I was angry that it made Keith sad, I didn’t like him being sad. 

Sadness, that was another emotion I was feeling. I was sad I would never get to see my family again, I hoped my mom could forgive me. I didn’t want to disappear like that however long ago, but I had to, I hoped I didn’t worry her too much. I was sad that someone was going to have to tell her when all this over that her son died in the line of battle. Who would it be? Shiro? Would he tell her the truth, about how I was captured fighting an evil alien overlord? Or would he be vague to save her feelings? Just describe it as a brave action that cost him his life? Or would he lie, pretending fighting Zarkon never happened? Would he blame it on a training simulation gone wrong? A test flight that went south? 

I was sad I wouldn’t get to see my teammates again, how would they feel when they came here and found me like this? I knew they were coming, but I didn’t think it was going to be in time. Who would find me? Probably Keith, he was always doing heroic shit like that, maybe Shiro, he cared a lot about his team. I hoped it wasn’t Pidge or Hunk, they weren’t strong like the other two. Pidge was already afraid of losing her father and brother, I couldn’t bear knowing she found me like that, only making her fear of finding them like that even stronger. And Hunk, he cared so much, it would’ve broke his heart to had found me like that. I couldn’t break Hunk’s heart. 

The world began to grow hazy, my head was spinning, I tried to keep my eyes open, but it felt like my lids were made of cement. Eventually they closed. 

When they opened I was back in the castle of the lions, not stumbling out of a healing pod but just standing in the main control room. I no longer hurt, in fact I felt great, and I felt even better when I saw everyone. They were all standing in the corner, looking at a wall, it looked like Shiro was speaking while the rest hung their heads. I ran over, so excited to see them again, even Keith and his stupid mullet. 

“Guys! Guys! Guys! I am so happy to see you oh my god!” I screamed running over, getting right in the center of their circle. None of them looked up, none of them even seemed to notice, Shiro didn’t even stop speaking. “Hello!! I’m right here!! Gosh after getting captured and tortured by the Galra I would hope for a warmer welcome! Can you believe this shir-” I said turning around to talk to Shiro, stopping mid sentence as soon as I saw him. It wasn’t him that made me stop, but what was behind him. 

On the wall a photo was hung, it was a photo from the day that we stopped on a peaceful, free planet to restock on supplies. The planet was relatively technologically advanced, and they had these cool things called Shutterboxes, they were basically cameras. Pidge explained to me once how they worked but I didn’t really listen. They gave us a bunch of them to take with us, and we had been taking photos all around the galaxy, I specifically was. Maybe it was dumb, but I wanted something to remember this time by, like besides memories. 

The photo was originally a photo of all of team voltron, it was my birthday and the team threw a surprise party for me. In the photo I was sitting at the head of the table, a cake made from the usual green Altean food guck was in front of me with a match in it as a candle. The team was behind me, minus Coran who was taking the photo, and we were all wearing party hats that Pidge made out of some old stuff she found lying around the castle. 

Below the photo was a small metal plaque with my name carved into it, and the years 1998-2016 carved below that. 

“Would any else like to say a few words?” asked Shiro looking around at his forlorn team. 

“Me!! I would!! Guys I’m fine, I’m right here! Please!” I screamed, jumping up and down, none of them hearing me. I fell to my knees, tears forming in the corners of my eyes. “Please…” I begged, my voice barely a whimper.

No one said anything, no one even moved, they all just stood there and looked at the photo. At least I would be remembered, that was my big fear, being forgotten. I was afraid they would find me, give me some type of space burial and then begin to look for the next blue paladin to form voltron. They would never speak of me, pretend I didn’t exist, they would avoid the door to my room, their conversation just stopping anytime they walked past it. 

Tears began to fall from my space, my knees growing weak, my stomach hurt. Slowly the group began to disperse and it felt like my heart was being torn into shreds.

“Wait! Please don’t leave me!” I cried reaching out to the nearest person, Keith. “Keith, I like you, I always have, that’s why I started that whole rival stuff, I thought it would make you notice me. I even like your mullet, no matter how many times I said it was stupid!” I cried reaching out, my hands just going through his legs like a hologram. “Shiro wait, no, please you have to see me please!” I cried, turning towards Shiro who was walking away. “Shiro, you have always been a big inspiration to me, you’re the reason I joined the garrison in the first place, I’m sorry I never told you that!” I cried him walking out of my arm span. “Allura, I have always admired your kindness, and I always wanted to ask you about your dad, but it never seemed like the right time, I’m sorry!” I cried out, reaching towards Allura who was walking to the control panels, never turning around. My tears were falling uncontrollably at point, I felt like I was going to break into a sob at any moment. “Coran, you’re weird but you are brave and you mean well, and I’ve always wanted to hear about you and Alfor growing up on Altea!” I cried out reaching for Coran, who followed Allura. Pidge began to make her way towards the door, walking right through me as she did. “Pidge, you are so smart and tough and I’m sorry I didn’t get to help you find your brother or father. I’m sorry…” I said reaching out for her, the result the same as the last. 

All that was left was Hunk, who just stood there, not moving, his hand out reached, touching my photo. He was rubbing his thumb over me in the photo, tears beginning to fall to floor. I got up and walked over to him, my heart breaking more than ever.

“Hunk… don’t leave me please… I’ve never been alone before… You are so kind… and I’m sorry I took advantage of that sometimes, you have the biggest heart of anyone on this ship, please don’t lose that. If you do I’ll come back from the dead just to kick your ass.” I said, my bottom lip beginning to quiver. I couldn’t control it anymore, I began to sob, loudly and ugly, as if everything that had happened over the past however long had finally became too much and the damn shattered. Everything in me poured out through my eyes, it was like vomiting through my eyes, like everything in me was being violently torn out of me. 

As Hunk pulled his arm down and began to walk away I cried even harder, trying to jump onto him.

“NO PLEASE HUNK, DON’T LEAVE ME ALONE, I’M BEGGING YOU!!” I cried, just phasing through him and falling to the floor. I pulled myself into the fetal position, my breath hitching and my eyes stinging, my throat burning. 

Suddenly the room all went black, the entire castle of lions disappeared. I felt so cold, like I could scream as loud as wanted but nothing, or no one would ever hear me. 

“Foolish paladin, you have always been alone. Your family was so large they barely noticed you, no matter how loudly you acted. Your other paladins, your friends? They all care about each other more than they care about you. The black and red have always been closer, the red cannot stand you, the green and yellow one will always be better friends than you and the yellow one.” A demon like voice said, piercing through the darkness. I tried to place it but I couldn’t, it sounded like it was coming from everywhere. 

“T-th-that’s no-t true.” I said, my voice weak and unconvincing. The voice laughed at my despaired, I tried to cover my ears at this but I still heard it.

“Even you don’t believe that. Face it, your biggest fear isn’t being alone, it’s you not being strong enough to ignore how alone you are.” said the voice. My entire body was shaking, everything hurt again, but now it was strictly emotional. “You really thought your friends would care about losing you? Look at them, they’re fine without. You’re not needed.” said the voice, an image beginning to appear in the darkness. It was everyone, they were sitting around the table eating, all of them smiling and laughing, even Keith. He looked so nice when he smiled, I wished I got to see him do it more. 

“They can’t grieve me forever…” I said trying my best not to give into whatever it was that was doing this.

“Fool! This was the day after you were captured, they weren’t even looking for you! They didn’t care, they never did.” said the voice, and my pain must’ve been apparent as I heard it make a small laugh. “And you actually thought the red one would ever want to be with you? Ha, pathetic! Look at this!” said the voice another image appearing alongside the one of them laughing. 

It was Keith, he was laying on his back on his bed, his hair a mess and stuck to his face with sweat. He was naked, and one of his hands were wrapped around his member, a bit of white liquid oozing from the tip. His legs were up and messily wrapped around the body of another naked person with a muscular build and short black hair. Keith was biting his lip, his face tinted pink, his free hand gripping tightly onto the sheets. I felt my heart shatter, but I tried my best to stay strong, I wasn’t going to give in.

“Th-that’s not real…” I said through my teeth trying to stop my lip from quivering. 

“Isn’t it? You’ve always known the truth, you’ve always known you weren’t good enough for him. He’s better than you at everything, a better pilot, a better fighter, a better paladin, he needs someone on his caliber to please, someone like the black paladin. You just weren’t good enough for him, sorry.” said the voice, the sorry at the end being the fakest thing ever.

_ They’re right… He needs someone like Shiro, someone brave and strong, someone who can give him everything he wants, someone better than me. _

“What? No comeback or denial? Am I starting to break you?” asked the voice sounding pleased.

“No.” I coughed out as confidently as I could. The voice laughed again and I felt rage flare up inside of me. 

“That’s alright, we have a while, forever in fact. You’ll break. They all do.” said the voice maniacally. “Let’s see who else doesn’t miss you.” said the voice, a third image appearing next to the one of Keith and Shiro. I recognized it instantly, it was my house. My mom was at the stove, cooking, my little brother and sister were tugging at my mom’s apron, wanting to play with her probably. My mom was looking down at them smiling like she always did. “This is them right now, they haven’t noticed you’re gone? The family you thought were so important to you, don’t even care. They’re too busy to care.” said the voice. Finally, something inside me snapped and I got and ran towards the three images, throwing my hands threw them. I tried punching them, tried wiping at them to make them disappear, to prove the weren’t real. 

“SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!” I screamed as I struck at them wildly. Slowly I began to run out of energy and I stopped, and when I did the images rematerialized. Slowly the darkness began to turn into a random pattern of those three images, they began to swirl around me, slowly getting closer. The voice laughed as my heart race quickened, I pulled myself back into the fetal position, closing my eyes and stuck my head in between my legs. I tried to block the all out, the laughing, the images, my family, my team, Keith and Shiro, voltron, the whole world. However, soon the darkness beneath my eyelids became filled those images as well. I tried to open them but I couldn’t I had nowhere left to hide. 

Suddenly, I heard what sound like a door being kicked down, piercing through the images. 

“Get away from him!” cried a voice, a different voice from the other one… it was Keith. I was right, Keith found me, he always was doing heroic shit like that. I heard fighting piercing through the sound of the darkness. After a couple of minutes, the fighting stopped, and it felt as if the entire world was being moved around. I realized Keith had thrown me onto his shoulders and was beginning to carry me.

“Asshole… why did you have to do it… we could’ve done it together… th-then you wouldn’t be in this mess, and y-you wouldn’t be hurt a-an-d it wouldn’t be my fault. I’m s-so going to kick your ass when you wake.” said Keith, it sounding like he was crying. 

The images began to disappear, fading back into darkness, and suddenly the darkness began to crack. Then, I jolted my eyes open, I was on the Galra ship again, but this time I was outside of my cell and my arms were wrapped around Keith’s neck.

“I did it so you would notice me… that’s why I did everything… the rival stuff… the constant competitions… I just wanted you to look at me as great for once instead of Shiro…” I said, my voice weak. “I-I did it… because I like you… I like, like you.” I said, feeling stupid having to preface that in the moment, making my declaration of it so much less serious. I heard Keith’s tears hitting the ground as he walked.

“C-can we t-talk about th-this later?” said Keith, trying to hold back his tears. I laughed a little, as much as I could despite the pain I was in. 

“Let’s be realistic, there probably won’t be a… later” I said, coughing at the end, a little bit of blood coming up and trailing down my mouth. Keith stopped suddenly and harshly. 

“Don’t say that. I’ll fight 10,000 Zarkons before I let you die here, now stay with me asshole.” said Keith, continuing to walk again. I wanted to say something in return, but I felt my eyelids growing heavy again, and before I got the chance everything went dark again.

My eyes fluttered open, my legs felt like jello and the room was spinning. I was back in the castle of the lions, I was wearing the healing pod suit, which clearly meant I was in a healing pod. I wandered from the pod, my legs unsteady and moving as if I was on a boat in the middle of the ocean. I was about to fall over when someone suddenly caught me from behind and pulled me up to eye level.

It was Keith. He was smiling… and maybe it was from whatever the healing pod had me on, or maybe it was because he just had a great smile, but when he smiled it was like staring right into the sun. Suddenly, he pulled me into him, kissing me softly. He wasn’t the best kisser in the world, our foreheads bumped and our teeth clicked a little, but I was sure he would get better. 

And then it hit me, Keith was kissing me? And I wasn’t doing anything, I was just standing there while he kissed. Quickly, I joined in the kiss, and when I did Keith became a bit shy before pulling away.

“I thought you were great when I met you… I just never thought you liked me… and yeah I think Shiro is great, he’s a good leader and a good fighter… but you… I don’t know.” he said, unable to look me in eyes, his cheeks beginning to turn pink. “I love your stupid pick up lines… they’re really bad but they make my heart feel weird when you say them, and you get excited really easily and it’s really cute. And maybe I’m not the most personable person but I’ve always enjoyed spending time with you, I loved your stupid competitions because they always strived me to try hard and you always look so cute when you’re concentrated… and… and… and… and I really like you okay.” said Keith, babbling a bit, his face and neck bright red. He looked cute. I smiled the way you smile when you’re about to tell a great pun.

“Hey Keith are you Saturn? Because I’d put a ring on it!” I said laughing, causing Keith to laugh, and for his cheeks to turn bright red. A couple seconds passed by and I had another, one I really wanted to tell him. “Hey Keith,” I said motioning for him to come closer with my fingers. He complied and leaned in a little and when he did I threw my arms around his neck and pulled his ear right next to my lips. “Uranus is out of this world.” I whispered, gripping onto his earlobe with my teeth. Suddenly, his arm shot out and punched me in the stomach causing my teeth to let go of his earlobe.

“GAH! What the hell?!” I said bent over in pain.

“I’m sorry! What was I supposed to do?! You complimented my anus and then tried to bite me?!” screamed Keith, moving his arms wildly as screamed.

“Laugh?! It was supposed to be sexy?!” I screamed back trying to regulate my breathing again. Before Keith could respond the door to the healing pod chambers opened and everyone came in, smiling when they saw me. 

“Sounds like you’re feeling better!” said Shiro smiling. 

“Judging by the conversation, I’m sure he feels great!” muttered Pidge laughing, Shiro shooting her one of those disappointed dad looks. When I saw them my entire body filled with joy, my face instantly lighting up. I ran over to Pidge and threw her into a hug, trying my best to pick her up and spin her around, but only getting her a few inches off the ground.

“Pidge, you’re so smart and tough and I really admire that. And while I didn’t know your brother and father I will do everything in my power to make sure we find them I swear!” I said smiling at Pidge, her look of fear, falling into a smile. I then ran over to Allura and threw her into a hug, I felt her smile on my shoulder. “Allura, I would love to hear about your father sometimes, tell me all about him. And Altea too, I would love to listen!” I said, tears of joy forming in my eyes. I then ran over to Coran and threw my arms around him, he hugged me back a bit confused. “Coran, please tell me sometime about you and Alfor!” I said, letting him go and running to Shiro next. I threw my arms around Shiro, hugging him tighter than any of the others. “Shiro, thank you for being such a good leader, and believing in all of us, and for inspiring me to join the Garrison, without you I wouldn’t even be here today. I’m sorry I was stupid and ran off on my own during that mission, I should’ve listened to you.” I said hugging him extra hard on that last part. 

“It’s okay, we’re just glad you’re okay.” said Shiro hugging me back. After a couple of seconds I broke away and looked to Hunk, who was awkwardly looking away from everything, clearly thinking he had been forgotten about. I ran over and tried as hard as I could to wrap my arms all the way hunk, just being a little too short in the back.

“Hunk, you are my best friend, and I’m sorry I take advantage of how kind you are sometimes, you’re so kind.” I said, tears started rolling down my face. Hunk hugged me hard, pulling me in so tight it was as if he was trying to make the two of us become one person. 

“I thought I lost you dude.” Hunk said, tears forming in his eyes too. 

“Me? Please it would take a lot more than a few nicks and bruises to take me out!” I said breaking away and flexing. Suddenly, glances were being exchanged between everyone, silence enveloping the room. “What?” I asked a bit confused. Suddenly Keith walked up behind me and began to unzip the healing pod suit, causing me to jump. “Keith, you can undress me later, not with everyone watching!” I holding up the falling jumpsuit. His face lit up again and Shiro stepped in, taking my hands from the shoulders of the jumpsuit. Slowly he pulled down the suit a revealed my chest. It was covered in at least 30 scars, all ranging in size and shape, even a few old burn marks were present. 

“Do you not remember what they did to you?” asked Shiro pulling the jumpsuit back up. I stared in shock at the scars, watching them disappear beneath the fabric. I blinked a couple of times to try and remember, but nothing was coming to me, just a few vague images of different weapons. 

“N-no…” I said my heart starting to quicken. Seeing how scared I looked, Shiro threw his arms around me again, everyone did. 

“Don’t worry about it right now, just go get something to eat and rest. Keith will you make sure he gets to his room safe?” asked Shiro his eyes darting to Keith, who was smiling and still a bit red from earlier. Keith nodded and the hug broke apart, then he lead me towards the kitchen, his arms around my waist, holding me close.

The next couple of weeks were hard. Training was hard, especially the gladiator, sometimes it would hit me in a scar, which was hard not to do as I had them everywhere, I would have an anxiety attack. Fighting the Galra themselves were even worst, I became more timid, didn’t want to fight alone, and even then I would still have panic attacks on the field, put everyone else in danger. 

Slowly, I pieced together what they did to me, all of it in graphic detail. I saw every cut, and shock, and burn. I remembered it happened after we landed the Castle of the Lions on a friendly plant and the Galra launched another surprise attack, like on Arus. I was angry at Keith, and frustrated because he always paid more attention to Shiro. I was being childish and when the team split up to deal with invasion, I insisted I went alone and when I did they captured me. 

The nightmares were the worst, it was replay of that darkness again, but it was different images each time. Sometimes it was Keith breaking up with me for Shiro, sometimes it was someone sacrificing themselves to save me, sometimes it was someone else getting captured because of my fear. Occasionally it was even my family, all getting captured and killed by Zarkon. 

I felt bad, my confidence disappeared as time went on, I ate less, and worst of all I was a hassle to Keith. Sometimes, we would making out, or just cuddling, or even just holding hands and I would have a sudden panic attack, needing to stop touching him immediately. I felt bad. 

Shiro tried to convince Allura to let us take a break from fighting Zarkon, to let us go back to Earth and let me see my family. However, I said no to the idea, Zarkon wasn’t going to wait for me to get better and people were going to keep dying if we didn’t stop him. He told me no one was expecting me to get over this right away, and I told him, the universe had been waiting 10,000 years for Voltron, I wasn’t going to let it wait another second because of my feelings. We can’t all be as strong as Shiro, but I can try.

It was dark, and I knew exactly where I was. I tried to remind myself that this was just a dream, tried to tell myself that it couldn’t hurt me. In front of me three images were there, one was me, it was dark and I was sitting in the fetal position. The next, was an image of Keith, he was missing his bottom half and his organs were sprawled out on the floor, his face was a face of fear and pain. I felt my heart rate quicken when I saw that one. The next was image with all the other members of Voltron, all falling victim to the same fate as Keith in the previous.

_ Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. This isn’t real. It can’t hurt me.  _

“Yes it can. Look at yourself, you are just a shell of who you once were.” said the same voice, now being able to hear my thoughts. Suddenly, a fourth image appeared and it was of me, Hunk and Pidge all laughing at the academy, I looked so happy, carefree. 

I knew it wasn’t real, but it felt so real, it was like being back in my cell again, the darkness even felt like the metal of the cell floor. 

“You’re never going to get better, you will be like this for the rest of your life. The people you care about so deeply? They’ll leave you, they won’t want to deal with your constant fear. And that boyfriend you care about so deeply? He’ll find someone better, someone he can touch without them breaking down. Someone better than you, someone less…  _ crazy _ .” the voice said, hitting the last word like it was toxic. I felt my heart race quickening, sweat began to form at my temples, I felt myself beginning to shake. 

“I-I’m n-n-not crazy.” I said, more to myself than to the voice. The voice laughed again, and the images began to swirl around the darkness.

“Really? Then why are you so scared, you said it yourself, I’m not real?” asked the voice, triumph in its voice, knowing it had won.

I shot awake, sitting straight up in bed. I couldn’t breath, tears were forming in my eyes, I was hyperventilating. I touched my chest, my heart beat moving erratically, the room was spinning, and it was like trying to breath out in space. I began to cry, unsure of what to do to make it stop. It felt like I was going to throw up, but also die right there. I was shaking, I wanted to turn the lights on but I couldn’t move. It was like I was frozen.

All the images I had ever had in the dreams ran through my head, I tried so hard to push them out but I couldn’t. They filled all of my senses, I didn’t know what to do, I had never had a panic attack this bad before.

This feeling last for what felt like forever, but slowly I calmed down, my breathing began to pace out  properly and my heart rate slowed down to a normal pace. Once I could move, I got off my bed and left my room, I didn’t know where I was going but I knew I couldn’t be in there. 

I wandered into the main control room, it looked beautiful at night, and no matter how long I spent in space looking at the stars was always calming. 

Entering, I was about to go sit in front of the main look out area, when something caught my attention. It was a small area of wall just to the left of the door, it was the place where they had my picture. 

I walked over and ran my hand over the same spot Hunk rubbed. I then sat down and pulled my knees into my chest. I never stopped rubbing the wall, as I thanked god that they didn’t have to actually put up my picture. 

Suddenly the door open, and out my peripherals I could see a vague outline of red and I knew who it was. He turned toward me and looked at me concerned. 

“I could’ve been on this wall. Some photo of me doing something stupid, with a plaque that had my name on it… I could’ve died…” I said, not looking at him. 

“Don’t think about that. The dream again?” asked Keith not moving from the few steps he took in the doorway. I nodded, still not looking at him, never moving my hand. “Maybe we should tell Shiro, he might know what to do.” said Keith walking towards. 

“No! Please!” I begged snapping my neck at him, my eyes filled with fear. Keith stopped dead in his tracks, he gave me such a pitiful look, the kind you give when you see those ASPCA commercials with the abused dogs. “I barely convinced him not to send me back to Earth, if you tell him about the dreams he’ll force me to go back and I won’t be able to relax knowing you are light years away possibly in danger.” I said, fear in my voice. Keith’s shoulders dropped, and he came over and sat down next to me, his legs stretched on in front of him, balancing on his hands. 

“There’s more to it than that… isn’t there?” said Keith not looking at me, probably thinking it would be easier for me to say it if I didn’t have to look him in the eyes. I sighed, I knew I needed to tell him.

“Yeah…” I said nervously tapping my fingers on my leg. After a couple of seconds, which felt like eternity, I began. “The witch guy you attacked when you found me, he was doing some sort of spell on me and it made me see what would happen if I died. You guys put up my photo, and plaque with my name on it right here, and I tried to reach out to you guys to tell you I was alive, but I couldn’t. And then everything went dark, and it was like the dream… and there was this voice that told me how… h-how I was alone… and how I would always be alone… a-a-and how I’d n-n-never be good enough… and while I didn’t want to believe it… I did…” I said, tears starting to fall from my eyes. Keith pulled me into a hug and I began to sob on his shoulder, it must been at least the fourth time this week. 

“I… I just d-d-d-don’t want y-y-you guys to think I’m… crazy…” I said, terrified of that last word. 

“You’re not. And you’re not alone, and you’ll never be alone. I promise you’ll get better, and I’ll be by your side no matter what. So will everyone else.” said Keith rubbing my back. He wasn’t the most comforting person in the world, but sometimes he said exactly what you needed him to. 

After hugging for some time, Keith broke away, but kept his hand intertwined with mine as he stood up, pulling me up with him. 

“Let’s get back to bed, it’s been a long night.” said Keith dragging me towards the door. I thought of my room and what had happened in there tonight and my heart race quickened.

“Can I sleep with you?” I blurted out not realizing how bad it sounded. Keith’s ears began to red and I knew I fucked up. “I mean not like, like, you know in your bed, with you, but not like… you know…” I said scratching the back of my neck in embarrassment. “I-I don’t wanna be alone.” I said looking everywhere but at Keith. His face dropped for a second, before picking up into a soft smile, which shined just as brightly as all of his other ones. 

“Of course.”

And with that we went to his room, and began to try and sleep, and while he didn’t fix what happened to me in just one night, it was nice knowing I didn’t have to get over this alone.

_ Bonus! Pidge P.O.V: _

I pointed the bulky end of the shutterbox around the doorway, lining up the square with the bed in the room. I bit back some laughter as I snapped the photo and quickly pulled the end of the camera out of the doorway. Sneaking away from the door as quickly and quietly as I could I made my way down the hallway and rounded the corner where Hunk was waiting in hiding. 

I looked at the shutterbox and pulled up the most recent photo. It was a photo of Keith and lance in bed together, Lance was facing towards the camera, while Keith was behind him with his head rested in the nape of Lance’s neck, the only visible part was his messy black hair, as well as the leg that was wrapped around Lance’s. Their hands were intertwined as well, the blanket had been kicked to the end of the bed. 

“Haha yes! This is going to age like fine wine!!” I whisper quietly, snickering to myself, a concern look on Hunk’s face. 

“Are you sure we should’ve done that?” asked Hunk, tilting his head.

“Yes! Next time he tries taking too many photos on a planet, I’ll shove this in Mr. I Just Wanted To Have Something To Remember This By’s face!” I said snickering some more. Hunk looked over my shoulder at the photo on the Shutterbox screen.

“They actually look kinda cute?” said Hunk smiling. 

“They do.” I agreed looking at the photo. “That makes it even better.”        

**Author's Note:**

> Pidge is a savage.  
> comments and kudos are always appreciated thank you!!


End file.
